Time to Say Goodbye. Part I of V

I didn’t know why we left the church to attend another. At the time I was just a child, 9 years of age. I was clueless of what was going on. My family began to attend the Assemblies of God church in 2002. It seemed the same as the other church but not as kooky. People still spoke in tongues and fell when the pastor laid his hand upon their foreheads. The only thing that was new was the place, the city, and the people. I did not mind going to a new church. The only thing that bothered me was that my parents had not given me the reason to leave.

Soon, other family members of mine began to attend this church. In the summer of 2003 the church organized an event, an “encounter.” It was a kids’ encounter over a weekend.

An “encounter” in Pentecostal and Charismatic churches is a retreat-like event that is meant for every individual to experience and ‘encounter’ God and His power/presence. Other than the amazing and exceeding amount of delicious food, what I remember were two things: 1) The teaching against rock n’ roll and 2) the “baptism of the Holy Spirit.” (That rock n roll session was all about how secular music was devil music and how it contained subliminal messages. I don’t think that worked because I became a huge fan of metal, punk, and the hardcore scene.)

That event was the epicenter; the start of what led me to where I am now. In the encounter I “spoke in tongues.”

Before I continue sharing my experience let me share some difference Pentecostal views on speaking in tongues.

1. 1.   A Christian does not have the Spirit unless he is baptized in the Holy Spirit. The baptism of the Holy Spirit is speaking in tongues. Some may even say that a person is not a Christian if they do not speak in tongues.
2. 2 The evidence of being baptized in the Holy Spirit is speaking in tongues or to prophesy. Not necessary a need to speak but is encouraged.
3. 3 Then there are some that see it as a spiritual gift like any other. Although they may emphasis the importance of speaking in tongues to edify oneself in spiritual maturity, it is not enforced as much as others.

The church I attended would fall between points 2 and 3. There may be more but those are the differences I saw growing up. Never really got into Pentecostal Theology or Doctrines. One thing is for sure though, Pentecostals are centered and focused in speaking in tongues that they elevate the gift more than others; and give praise to those who speak in tongues at times. This sometimes brings discouragement and lament for those who have not spoken in tongues. Some Pentecostal churches would preach (maybe still preach) that you have not reached spiritual maturity unless you have been baptized in the power of the Holy Spirit, that is, speaking in tongues.

Back to my story…

On the Saturday night of the encounter all the children were gathered. The pastor of our church preached (don’t remember what he preached about) and when he finished he told us to stand. He instructed us to lift our hands and pray to Holy Spirit to come. I was used to this stuff already so I began to pray and to get emotional. The pastor began to pray for the children laying his hand upon each of their foreheads. I heard the murmurs of prayer. The calm and tranquil music sedated me. The lyrics of the song cried out for the Holy Spirit to come. When he came to me he said in Spanish to speak.

            “Speak the words that come to your mind. Let them out.” He said.

Nothing came up, I just starting thinking about letters of the alphabet. Whatever letters were put together in my mind I said them. I opened my eyes and looked at him and saw him smiling. He was happy I spoke. I looked around and children were on the floor crying and also speaking. Others were praying for each other. But what I could remember clearly is how I felt. I can only describe it as a spiritual euphoric tranquility.

Being a child that questioned things, I began to question this experience. I began to question why I could not do particular things. Questions constantly ran through my mind. I was always in my mind wondering and thinking as a child (still do). I was very introverted and still am. Everything I was told about God and Christianity did not make sense to me. All these questions I kept to myself. By the age of 12 I became an agnostic and shortly, after I became an atheist.

I Didn't See Heaven's Gates

Let me share with you a story. Well, a couple of stories. Few of my close friends know, and others just know a little. This is a story of my Christian upbringing. There are things that I witnessed as a child that I can clearly remember. I grew up in a Pentecostal church that became very Charismatic, legalistic, and fundamental. There were many don’ts. There were many things I could not do and the reason was that those things “were of the devil.” I felt like Bobby from the film The Waterboy.

One thing that is common in Charismatic churches are revelations and "spiritual experiences.” To begin, I'll share what the pastor of this unique church tried to accomplish with me and another boy. The pastor had given a testimony of when he went to a country in Latin America. He said that when he prayed for a child there, this child saw a vision of heavens gates. When he finished speaking, he called my name and the name of another boy. We came to the platform and stood side by side, facing away from the congregation, our shoulders to the left of them. The pastor stood in front of us and laid his hands on our heads and began to pray. Tears ran down my face and I fell back (after all, it's what everyone did when the pastor prayed and laid hands on them). When we got back to our feet, he asked, "What did you see?" We answered, "Nothing." In my mind I asked, "Did he want us to see heaven's gates?" The pastor had nothing to say so he just gave a grin to the congregation.

In the Hispanic Pentecostal/Charismatic church there is a something called, liberación (liberation). It's the practice of "liberating" people from demons. It was a habitual practice for this church (and still is). Every Sunday the devil and demons were rebuked. I remember a time when the pastor was rebuking from his pulpit, and the majority of the congregation had come to the altar, including myself. Next to me was a woman with her hands lifted. She began to shake and began to vomit. Someone brought a trashcan to her and she continued. It was not strange to see this in that church. People fell shaking and twitching, speaking in tongues, and other things.

You see, in this church it wasn't so much of being drunk/slain in the Spirit, but liberating people from darkness. What I believe was and is the largest problem, is the pastor. I was about 9 years old when my parents decided to leave this church and attend another. Most of the things I saw were from the time I was an infant to the age of 9. At that time I did not know why we left that church, but as I got older I began to understand. The things that were practiced, and are being practiced, are unbiblical. The pastor would read books of witchcraft and the occult to know how the enemy would work. Those books influenced many of the things he practiced and taught the church. The next time I saw him and heard him preach was at my grandmother’s funeral. He stated that he had a conversation with a demon, and then rebuked him.

Though my family left that church when I was 9, we still considered ourselves as Pentecostals. So we ended up in an Assemblies of God church. For the next 11 years this church would be my home church. This was the placed where God saved me, and where I was baptized. But I ended up leaving. Why? Well, I’ll share that story soon.